Of Letterman and Betterman
Bill Watkins

Notes: Written after Jesse Ventura scadalized the lace-curtain Irish by joking, on the David Letterman Show, that the weird street layout of Minnesota's capital city was the fault of drunken Irishmen.

Perchance our new Governor is erring
When to St. Paul's Irish referring
I'm wont to debunk, the myth of a drunk
And Municipal Planner conferring.

Whilst it's true that some Irishmen drink
Does our leader presumably think
That a road can be made, without gradient or grade
Or camber, or curvature's kink.

Perhaps the road builders of old
Liked a snifter to keep out the cold
But as likely as not, it was probably a Scot
Whose Macadam blacktop was rolled.

The puzzle of St. Paul's geography
When studied by aerial photography
Has you ponder a while, that it's lay out and style
Owes less to tops off - than topography

Sure it's true that we Irish like skits
And prize our political wits
But the furor begun, by his wee poke of fun
Has us sounding a lot like the Brits.